o there I was, just minding my own business, walking down the hallway of my apartment complex. When whom should I cum upon, but this delicious, shirtless blond, who sported an amazing six-pack; thick, full pecs, well-developed arms; nicely-built legs; and to top it all off, a face that would make most aspiring models blush with envy: Square jaw, perfect complexion, knee-weakening good looks.
He was, in a word, amazing.
Who knew I had such a hunk for an neighbor?!
"Hey man," he smiled as I approached, "the elevator's* out. I had to take the stairs."
"Thanks, dude," I replied. "I'll just tromp down the stairwell."
He smiled at me. His day-old facial hair threatened to undo me as I passed him. He was beyond gorgeous. And why-the-fuck was he shirtless?
Not that I was complaining....
After we passed in the corridor, I turned back to him and said, "Man. I don't know why you aren't wearing a shirt, but I have to say... don't change anything, dude."
He stopped, mid-stride, in the hallway. He turned to me and paused. A slight smile formed on his lips. His eyes twinkled. "Thanks, man," he said. "I just thought I'd get comfortable for the walk up the stairs. Fourteen floors, you know."
Again, those twinkling eyes.
Again my knees buckled.
I found some kind of confidence that I hadn't experienced since I was in my mother's womb, and said to him, "I don't remember seeing you here before. I feel kind of bad not meeting one of my neighbors." I took a few steps toward him and extended my hand. "My name's Sean. I'm in 14-L."
Again that ginger smile. I wanted to curl into a fetal position right then and there on the hallway floor. He extended his hand to meet mine. "Glad to meet you, Sean," he smiled. (Can I just die now? Please?) "I'm Trevor. In 14-P."
"P, huh?" I said, using my smoothest het approach. "So you're in the corner unit, huh?"
"Yeah," he smiled.
And at this point I realized he had an Australian accent. Fuck.
"It's a nice place," he smiled. "You should knock on my door sometime. I'd be glad to show you my unit."
Please. PLEASE Do NOT tease me like that Trevor. Do NOT.
"That'd be cool," I smiled. "Actually, I'd love to see your unit."
Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please. Let me see your unit.
He blushed, looking askance. Then he looked me square in the eye and said, "Well, mate, there's no time like the present. If you're not headed anywhere urgent, my unit's all yours."
I literally had to... and this is the godalmighty truth... I had to lean against the corridor wall. I actually began to slump down the wall and pile myself into a whimpering, mumbling mass of awe-struck, fetal, humanity. Just before I slipped into a humiliated mound of man-worship, I stopped myself. I steeled myself into the best het persona I could muster. I looked into Trevor's gorgeous eyes. "Um... are you sure? I don't want to impose."
"No problem at all, mate," he smiled. "No problem at all."
* For you Brits: Elevator = Lift.
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