here was a time– and not so long ago– that I would have been greatly offended when someone disrespected my religion. Like, if I saw one of those parody Jesus Fish emblems on the back of a car: The kind that, instead of a simple Jesus Fish, it showed the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or maybe it showed a Fish with feet and said "Darwin," instead of the hallowed "IXOYE" or "Ichthus."
Yeah, I would have been offended. I even had a short diatribe all rehearsed and ready to go if I encountered the driver of said, aforementioned car. "How dare you disrespect my religion." Or something like that. But it never happened. I usually just ran, instead of confronting said driver.
That said, I've kind of moved past the religion thing. Thence, I love today's picture, which I culled from a Facebook Feed (this is not my own friend's post, mind you... I hacked into someone else's feed. Methinks.).
So, here we have Jesus. I don't mind saying here and now: If I had known Jesus was THIS hot, I might have never left the church. Good god (and I mean that literally), this Savior is HAWT! He's so freakin' strong, he's actually BREAKING the CROSS! (I wonder... wouldn't there be theological ramifications if this were actual and true? I mean, I thought Jesus was supposed to die. For our transgressions, etc. If his mighty arms busted the cross, where would be our hope?) Yet, let us move on...
Is it sacreligious to jerk off to Jesus?
Do I risk the possibility of actually burning in HELL forever because of this post?
So many questions; so few answers.*
Anyhoo, do a little clicking on His Saviorness, above. Then, read the FB post above the picture. Try to read past the grammatical/spelling errors. No one ever said Christians are perfect (just forgiven). Seems this Facebook dude was probably not happy with Jim Caviezel's too-skinny portrayal of our Blessed Savior. I would have to agree, but that's beside the point.
Regarding the Poster's idea that we need a more muscular Jesus. Again, I'd have to agree. But then, we need a more muscular Santa Claus, IMHO. And a more muscular Barak Obama. John Boehner, for crying outloud. (Didn't you love how, when JB was first elected Speaker of the House, everyone thought his name was pronounced "boner"? Alas, the guy is definitely not.) But where was I... Oh yeah...: WTF? We need a Jesus with BICEPS to inspire us to think of GODALMIGHTY as strong and powerful? Again, (and this is just my opinion:) WTF? The FB Posting dud(e) says that God told him** "...if death couldn't stop Me and I created you in My image, you are as powerful as you know you are!"
But my next (and thankfully, final) question is this: If I have 18 inch biceps, and Satan has 19 inch biceps, and that Devilish tempter tempts me (as he is wont to do), who wins? WHO, the hell, wins the eternal good-vs-evil arm wrestling match? WHO?!
Perhaps, after all, what we need isn't so much as a more muscular Jesus, but maybe what we REALLY need is a less-muscular Satan.***
Enough of that. It's time for the results of the very first-ever MUSCLEPLA.NET POLL! See the post immediately below this one for the POLL's question. And for the results of said poll, click HERE. We'll have another poll up lickety-split.
Be sure to tell your friends about this wonderful site.
* And THAT, my fellow CWSs, is why I am no longer religious. Too many unanswered questions. And frankly, the amount of FAITH it took to make up for those unanswered questions just kind of ran down the metaphorical drain of my spiritual bathtub (while I was also coaxing my semen from a masturbatory orgasm down my not-so-metaphorical bathtub drain).
*** Makes sense to me. That Beelzebub ALWAYS wins those clashes between my right hand and my penis.